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Many times over the next 5 days we looked at each other and said exactly that.

Place marker for a ride report. EOM 2021. Can’t finish unless you start it.

Microcosm of the trip!


If you know, then you know. These were the remnants of cookies Ms Tammy made. At this point they were prob 2,000 miles old, but they hit the spot. Six or Seven days old. Lol.

They weren’t perfect, but …… you know the rest.

Is there such a thing as a perfect trip, prob not, but we all keep searching. This last 18 months has been a complete shi+ show at work. So much planning and constant changes that have no right answers, just wrong ones. Nothing is definitive right now except our kids and staff at school are suffering through this pandemic. Since I have a big roll in trying to manage this, it’s been a constant fire drill.

The timing of the trip wasn’t perfect, but it didn’t need to be since it was the first FJR event since last years truncated EOM event.

Pants and I planned at least 3 trips previously that didn’t materialize for a myriad of reasons. Injuries, Hurricanes, CoVid, and timing all caused aborted plans. We “planned” this one with the usual disclaimers hoping this one would materialize.

I gave him some tips to matriculate his way from Missouri to my house in East Central Illinois. He will certainly detail them in his report. After he got here, I was “in charge” until we got to EOM. That’s a change because Pants usually leads and “plans” our routes. Since he hadn’t been to Illinois in 20+ years and definitely not on a bike, I had a few ideas. The ideas weren’t perfect, but they didn’t need to be.

Pants rolled up to the house Tuesday night just after 5pm.


My tires from RMATV had just come in earlier that day after a three day delay. My Shinkos were still decent, but the roads we had planned would be hard on them. We had to swap them out.

As you can see, my driveway is shaded, but I had an idea.



These PR4 GTs got plenty warm sitting on top of the air conditioner. A basketball places inside the tires will roll around and distribute the heat wonderfully.

We changed out both tires then had dinner.


The ribeyes were from a local slaughter house and the sweet corn came from our school social worker. It was on the stalk Sunday, we ate it Tuesday after she gave me the mason jar Monday at school. She said it was the best corn ever. It wasn’t perfect, but…..

After running a few errands in the truck and introducing Pants to the family he headed downstairs for the night. His comment about needing a life jacket was funny because basements aren’t definitely not a thing in South Lousiana.

I had some choice ideas for us tomorrow. They weren’t gonna be perfect, however it didn’t need to be, but it was pretty effin close. Lol. More later.


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In!!

Im in, but just wondering what the hell wasn't perfect.

We got a moderate start in the morning. Wife and kids went off to school while Pants and I got ready for our adventure. A little air pressure check.



And we are off. Not gonna be on the road for very long as we live 7 miles from the Indiana border.


The line for the eastern time zone is here as well. It is not uncommon for a cell phone to grab a tower here and make you panic a moment as you realize you are an hour late. Only to realize it’s all good.


A few miles more and we stop by our first covered bridge. They are a very common thing here along the Wabash river. There are hundreds of examples but many of them are on gravel; not really suitable for loaded FJRs. Some of the bridges are traversable, this one is not (legally anyway). Pants loved the size of the beams and timber work.


Almost all of them have some type of plaque or marker detailing the history of the bridge.


Pants has a fine eye for structure and loves bridges of all kinds. He absorbs the details and wants to feel the texture, sit among the history, visualize what it was like to construct such marvels of the day.



Ulysses Grant was president when this bridge were built. He is a native of Ohio, but settled here in Illinois.



We sat for awhile to drink it in. We sat on both banks of the Little Vermilion(yeah, one “L” but 2 “Ls” most other places. We actually have a Vermilion county here on this side of the border, but Indiana has a Vermillion county adjacent to ours.

Illinois also has 2 rivers with the name Vermillion. Ours is the little and runs East to the Wabash and eventually the Ohio. The other runs North to the Illinois river in North Central Illinois and borders Starved Rock. The Indian culture is deep here as expected. Lots of this area was under native control when many of the bridges were built. Pants asked me about the “Vermilion” color that means “red”. At first thought, I couldn’t think of any red connection to the land. But later I recalled the piles of mine debris that are excavated from the area. They call it Red Dog and it is a byproduct of all the mining of years past here. So maybe that is the root of the Vermilion here.

We crossed the Wabash and headed to the next covered bridge over in Shades State park.


More soon.


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I purposefully chose the best roads in the area that moved us East and South.
The next place was Shades State park. This is the precise area I ride both dual sport and pavement. In this area the land is not typical of central Illinois or Indiana. It lies close enough to the Wabash and some creeks. Pants remarked that he certainly did not expect this type of terrain around here.

High bluffs and rock bottom creeks as we are far enough away from the bottom lands and flood plain. This bridge is over Sugar Creek and on a weekend summer day this place would be inundated with drunk kids, parents, and anyone else floating in tubes/canoes/kayaks on the creek. It’s a zoo; We were here on a Wednesday morning and not a soul was around.


Double arch structure made in 1878. Beauty in design and reliability, just like the 2015 FJR. 137 years between them and quality craftsmanship still applies.



We took some of Julie’s advice and headed “East Bound and Down”. We needed to avoid Indy as well as the sprawling Cincinnati area. All while still being able to cross the Ohio. The places to cross are few and far between. Most direct you to the interstates or big 4 lane highways. Those are to be avoided except in absolute necessity.

But first, we headed toward the Hoosier national forest around Bloomington Indiana. I do some dual sporting over here and the paved roads are curvy here. AllenC first showed me these and while they are not my favorite, they are a good precursor to SEO. Lots of hills with sharp turns with little signage. If you trust the tree line, you may find yourself in them.

We landed in Story and were thinking about having lunch here, but they were not open until 2. We took the quick photo and headed toward the river.

Into the flood plains of the Ohio we find more bridges of various types.



So little traffic we could of sat here and taken plenty of pictures.
There were many of this type along the way. Sometimes I would lose sight of Pants and I would pull over and wait. I knew my friend was enjoying himself. The small towns we encountered had local architecture and Pants took many pics of random buildings.

We got close to the river, but before the town of Madison, Pants commented, “Where the heck do these people work?” I smiled a little because I successfully avoided any metro areas.

It was time to eat.


More soon.


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While we looked for the place that Google said was open down on the river, we saw no less than 30 police vehicles chasing an old beater car. Local, state, whereof, and unmarked cars blew by us. We never figured out what it was, but an hour later as we ate lunch, we saw a wrecker pulling the chased car. The windshield was busted in severely.

We were gonna eat down on the river at a floating restaurant in Madison Indiana. but it was closed despite what Google said in my research ahead of time. We found a back up. The Red Pepperoni stepped up very well.


Italian Grinder for me with some pasta salad.
After lunch we returned to the river front to look at the bridge over the Ohio. It was now warm and humid. I swapped jackets and boots while we hung out along the river. I missed the pics, I know Pants took some of the big bridge.

From there it was into the foothills of Kentucky just below Cincinnati. We rode the ridges passing through Dry Ridge. It reminds me of the drift less area around the alphabet roads of SE Wisconsin, albeit on a smaller scale. It is very curvy here and the rain was creeping in so we didn’t take many stops or pictures. Our pace was 10 over and purposeless.

The dry roads were literally just on the other side of the river. We could see the rain line and we’re about to get dumped on and like manna from Heaven, an empty carport at an abandoned business appeared right before the deluge. We laughed at the good fortune. I changed back into waterproof gear and we waited it out. Pants will have pics for sure.


We pulled up to the Ferry in Augusta Kentucky to cross north back over the Ohio into Ohio.


It is. It a free ferry, but 2 bucks each is cheap for sure. The ferry boat deckhand said they might make 75 trips per day in the 8am to 8pm shift. They wasted no time on the turn around.


They have no set time schedule meaning they do not leave at a specific time. If there is no one on the side of the river they are on and there is someone waiting on the other side, they shove off and go get them.


It was smooth and the captain didn’t even raise the ramp more than a foot above the water. In wind induced chop or barge wake, it would have to be elevated.


Since 1798, this ferry has operated. First by a hand pulled rope. Now the Jenny Ann has duties.


We had 45 miles before we arrived at the campground as darkness was settling in. Joey needed provisions after the 10+ hours on the road. Close to 400 miles. We found a local store and got local knowledge- it’s always the best.

The day was not perfect, but one would have to say it was pretty effin close. Oh, it gets “more closer” to perfect at the campground in the next installment. (My English teacher just rolled over in his grave with that last statement, but “more closer” seems appropriate). Lol


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Good stuff!

This ride report pace is a little better than the Spawn's was. JSNS

bigjohnsd wrote: ↑Tue Sep 28, 2021 5:35 pm This ride report pace is a little better than the Spawn's was. JSNS

I agree. He’s doing it right.

Btw, wtf did I read? You swapped boots??? You bring more than one pair of ‘sickle boots on a trip??? W.T.F.

wheatonFJR wrote: ↑Tue Sep 28, 2021 6:06 pm

bigjohnsd wrote: ↑Tue Sep 28, 2021 5:35 pm This ride report pace is a little better than the Spawn's was. JSNS

I agree. He’s doing it right.

Btw, wtf did I read? You swapped boots??? You bring more than one pair of ‘sickle boots on a trip??? W.T.F.

Yes I did, I have some sport boots that are well vented and not very tall. The Klim Kodiak is waterproof touring overkill. Humid hot temps call for a Klim Induction jacket that gets taken on and off plenty of times.

When you have your pack camping system down to a science like I do, you have plenty of room for the extras to make life more comfortable. I can’t take full credit for setup efficiency, but I do have a little practice whittling down to take nothing but everything I need.

Yer a better packer than I am.

Alrighty, back to the report.

Light was fading as we rolled into the town of Hillsboro Ohio after crossing the ferry.

We stopped downtown and Pants said emphatically “I need a beer”. Google to the rescue. A quick search yields Larry’s Party Store about 3 blocks behind us. We go around the block and pull up to the door.


Joey likes unique beer. I think it is safe to say he has a sophisticated pallet. He might even call himself a beer snob. We walk into the place and behind the counter is 2 girls about Spawns age. Dressed in college sweatshirts and yoga pants…..We are skeptical to say the least. Prob barely old enough to legally drink, but Pants asks do you have anything local and yes they do and they have samples on tap. Things are looking up. They have tiny cups about the size of a ketchup cup. After a sample, Pants smiles big and says “That’s good, real good!”

Now we needed food, so we ask the beer girls for a food voice. In typical college fashion, they suggest pizza. They don’t recognize or understand we are on motorcycles and can’t take it to the campground. How about delivery?

We find out they will deliver to the camp. We boogie out of town about 3 miles. We pick our site and the first order of business is get delivery going. A couple of unique requests include:
Do you have a 2 liter of Diet Coke? “Yes”.
Do you have a bag of ice?
“Yes”
We will take those and a large Supreme and we are on site 211 at the campground.
“See you in 30 min”.
We set up camp as the last of the light is gone and use headlights. A few min after we are set up, my phone rings and the delivery lady needs help finding us. I share my location with her and tell her to look for the flashing lights when. She gets near the lake. A car slows down and I flip on the FJR aux lights and she comes right over.




She gets a good tip and delivers the goods and they are really good.


“LPS” = Larry’s Party Store. Lol.


Pants getting ready for Dinner


The pizza is top notch. The girls at the party store hit 2 home runs. We easily could have got stuck with Busch light and Dominos.

We had the last of Ms Tammy’s cookies that “survived” the 2K miles that Pants had traveled already. They were delicious nuggets, a little beat up, but exactly hit the spot after a great day.

We finished the night listening to some tunes, kicked back sitting in our chairs, and discussing how it doesn’t have to be perfect, but today was pretty effin close.

SEO up tomorrow. More later.


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You had me at college girls in yoga pants. And alcohol.

I need to see this perfect camping packing. You packed for you AND Spawn for Red Lodge and now you are toting around extra boots. I traveled by myself camping and had to provide extra encouragement to my bags to get them to shut every day. I did have to plan for cold temperatures at altitude and had to pack in my own food, so there's that, but still, you either have magic bags or mad packing skills.

A book could be written on proper and efficient packing. After this trip, I'm rethinking my method a little.

But in general, the more I do this, the less I bring....

After a little hiatus from the report; time for some unpredictable roads of SEO


After a good night sleep, I woke up to some weird humming. No, it wasn’t Pants. I climbed out of the tent. Since we were hurrying to hear the darkness last night we didn’t get a full view of our accommodations.


I didn’t see the birds heading from lake to another location. Pants said it was a huge swarm. He gets up earlier than I do.


We had the entire loop of this campground to ourselves. The ground was level, soft and tent stakes went in easy.


The shower house was not far away and had little traffic to it.



We sat and enjoyed the lake views while our coffee and tea got started.

I started a small fire to warm the bagels with peanut butter, breakfast was simple to hold us over before lunch.


We rode some goat trails getting over to SEO Ohio. I had my route planned in the GPS and the device decided to take a giant poop. It started taking U turns, tried to reroute us back to the start of the route, and paid zero attention to common sense. No explanation, just electronic dumbness. It happens. We finally got over to the better roads after too much time on a 4 lane. My biggest mistake was not getting far enough East.

It wasn’t perfect, but we got over onto the good stuff eventually. We had lunch in McConnelsville at a burger joint I had been to 5 years before with AllenC, Preston, and Mike. Simple place with good service and food.


I chose the double cheeseburger with bacon. The fries were good as well as were the pickles.


On the plan was to go show Pants a little bucket


After that, we made our way over to the Triple Nickle. It’s not the best road over there, but kind of a right of passage much like the Dragon. We couldn’t ride them all, so we had to hit a few of the main ones.

The roads here are unpredictable to say the least. For us unfamiliar with this kind of riding, it is hard to trust yourself like needed to ride quick and smooth. I know some of you can, but not this flat lander. More than a few times did I have to recorrect after hesitation in what I was seeing. Nevertheless, it was a good experience and we kept it safe all day.

We headed back to middle Ohio. In retrospect, we should have packed up and found a spot over in SEO central to spend more miles in the best stuff.

More in a bit.


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We planned on cooking back at camp since we had a later lunch and we didn’t need a big meal. We were looking for a grocery store on the way back, but had to go into town to find one. We can keep it simple or get complicated with our camp meals. Tonight, we needed a basic dish to tide us over. We decided on chicken thighs over salad. Believe it or not, the store doesn’t have any boneless skinless ones. These are the best because they don’t dry out over a fire like white meat can.

But first we needed some firewood. We scrounged up wood from the forest the night before, but tonight we needed a proper cooking campfire and bonfire for after dinner entertainment. We come rolling into camp with the groceries and the camp store is closed. Oh what to do?? Well, you find the camp host and ask him for advice. He tells you to go to his campsite and grab what we need off of his pile. I flag Pants down and we load up the sherpas from the camp hosts pile. It’s oak and gonna be perfect.


Rok straps to the rescue.

We adapted to the bone in skin on thighs and Pants got to preparing them with some Cajun spice. Anyone who has camped with me knows I can cook, but you all know who I learned campfire cooking from. He doctored them up and I got to building a cooking fire with a good base of coals.




The grill grates here are the best I have ever used. They swivel over the fire and the ring base is lifted up off the ground for air flow. You can also raise the grate to get less heat if needed.

I use my little pan to moderate the heat & keep the chicken from burning. proper as food cooks.



We have done this enough times over the years, it is second nature. Before dinner, we had cheese and crackers while we waited. The main dish turned out as expected.



We have some bluegrass music going on Pants’ speaker and are enjoying the evening



No self respecting meal either at camp or in a 5 star restaurant is complete without dessert.

I absolutely love cherry pie, but also am a sucker for pecan. So why not buy one of each and split them up. Yes,they were warmed over the fire. No, we didn’t have ice cream, our abilities at camp are not perfect …… but they are pretty effin close. Lol.

We made a few rough plans for our route over to West Virginia, but would let the weather and how we felt dictate the final route.

I have an old friend from my early years in coaching that has some wise words. He says that you know real friendship when you can not talk with someone for extended periods of time and then when you reconnect, it was like you never missed a beat. I heard this about 20 years ago and it is never more true with some of our FJR people. We spent the last few sticks of gifted wood from the camp host talking about old trips, today’s events, tomorrow’s plans, and future plans.

More in a bit.


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Today was about getting over to Flatwoods, but we had plenty of good roads to ride on the way.


Woke up to Pants wiping his bike down after a heavy dew. He called it putting some lipstick on his pig.


We were eager to get packed up and see our friends, but first, he needed caffeine and I prefer tea. Pants’ wife Tammy likes her tea also so he raided her stash and brought some along for me. Apparently she has a method of picking her favorite drinks and the more verbiage, the better she likes it. Today was a multiple flavor winner for sure. I think she is on to something here. Thanks Miss Tammy.



I enjoyed my tea and let my tent dry out along with the items in the clothesline.


Nothing fancy for Pants, just coffee and some creamer.


At the grocery store last night we snagged some eggs, sausage and a bag of ice. I carry a small soft sided cooler with me that contains my kitchen and we often use it to keep items overnight. Works like a charm.


Some scrambled eggs and sausage before we set out for the day will hit the spot just right.


Some sweet black grapes compliment the salt and spice of the sausage. It ain’t perfect, but….. you know the rest.

Some would rather just have a breakfast bar or skip it all together and get on the road, but truth be told, we need to hang around some to let the roads dry out and let the deer find their way into the woods and off the roads. Might as well make some good food. Plus, it keeps costs down and both of us are mindful of our costs, we can trade that money spent for gasoline down the road. We cleaned up breakfast, packed up,and hit the road.

I reached my limit on pics per post. More in a few.


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A little foreshadowing. Those of you that were at Flatwoods may have heard me talk about “Fire Marshall Bill……. Let me tell you something!” I will get to that later.

For now, Pants jumped in front to lead us. Truth be told, he is way better at navigating than me and my GPS was acting so dumb, it made sense for him to jump out front. We made our way towards the river. As you can see the weather is perfect.




The rolling hills down to the river made great riding. I could only get shots on the straights and apologize for the glove in the pic below, but it was the best I could do.


Heading southeast, the hills were enjoyable for sure.

The clouds begin to creep up as the mountains make their own weather. No chance of rain, but these are the smokies.


We start to see land behind the clouds and know the riding is going to get even better.


We can’t ride all the way to Flatwoods without eating. We had not plan on place but rolled past this place and the smell made both of us turn around on cue. We came from Ripley on 33 into Spencer. This was a logical stop.


A couple of taco salads were just the right amount of food.


It was along this route we came up behind Fire Marshall Bill. This is a made up name for a local volunteer fireman who did not appreciate us using the ponies of the FJR to get around him after he passed several opportunities to utilize the pull outs.

I was out front at this point and made safe pass in the tiny middle lane between the solid yellow lines. Well, the local boy in the truck with the department decal did what he could to prevent our pass. I got around easier because I went first. Pants could not surprise him as FMB was now prepared. Eventually Pants smoked him and we dusted him. We got out of range until I took a wrong turn and had to pull a U turn. Once back on track, guess who was back right in front of us headed south on 16? That’s right. FMB and “let him tell you sumpthin”.

He was hell bent on not allowing us around. After miles of blocking us again, I waited for the right time. A tight left hander with full visibility allowed me to get the jump and blow by. He couldn’t keep his line as I kicked down to 2nd gear and leaned it over. My tactic was good but FMB was not going to let that happen again, so he began to block both lanes. Pants tried to get by but with FMB using both lanes trying to keep up with me and keep Pants at bay. I ran away from him but could hear his engine over his loud speaker he was using to command me to pull over. He was saying things like he called the cops and they were coming. He had his little blinky light on some as well. His truck, even with his mountain skills were no match for the FJR. I left him and Pants plenty of curves back quickly.

As I got out ahead some, I waited for Pants to show up. But he never did. We came through a couple of tiny towns and I never saw him. Now I am getting worried. In times like these, seconds feel like minutes and minutes like hours. I am wondering if Pants and FMB are in some confrontation, did FMB run him off the road, or have the cops shown up. Ugh, my mind is not settled. I slow down again and they appear. Pants has backed off a little but FMB is still playing Tony Stewart on a road course, blocking all the way like a jack ass. As I was blasting away, my other thought was FMB had called the law and I was gonna come around a curve to a West Virginia state trooper road block. Complete with guns drawn behind the hood of the cars. That never materialized and we got down to the interstate and I slowed enough for Pants to see me pull into a gas station. I was now pissed more than scared and if we were gonna have a conflict, I wanted more exit routes. FMB did the smart thing and just drove on by flipping me off and scolding me over his speaker. Pants and I hopped onto the interstate to avoid any bad situations. We went to Walmart for snacks and drinks before rolling onto the hotel. There was a party in the parking lot worthy of our travels.

Deagle10 helped us carry bags upstairs and we got situated. It was awesome to see so many FJRs and friends. We each showered up and took our snacks downstairs into the parking lot to share.


As you all know, the day wasn’t perfect, but it was pretty effin close.


Time for bed. More soon.


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Jackass!!