Friday/Saturday, June 23rd/24th - Days 7 and 8 of my trip.
Not much to say, except I have 1600 miles to get home...but I need to get home as soon as possible. I will get as far as I can the first day and that will determine how long this trip will actually take. I am allergic to interstates...but I am in "get home" mode squared...especially because of this thing that has cropped up with my body.
It doesn't happen at night, nor off the bike at the motels...but during this trip I became incontinent while riding the bike. It's been pretty humiliating. I would get 40 miles into a tank and need to pee, no matter where I was...I would have a couple minutes warning and that would be it.
So, I really need to go.....home. Now.
The temps were warm on the way home...I stopped looking at what they were and just kept the gages set to read miles that day, and miles on the tank. That kept me focused on what I need to focus on...putting on the miles, and how much until I stop.
This is my approximate route for the two days...
I could say a lot about the last two days and philosophy and other stuff, but I won't. I've already filled the air with enough of my thoughts and feelings...it's gotta be tiring to listen to just about now.
I will say that it was very hot and tough...for me...but it had to be done.
I could share the anecdote of a middle eastern guy and his wife and a crying baby in a fancy car in western Kansas gas station sharing a sad story of his first trip to America and losing his wallet and showed me his gas gauge was empty and how they were trapped there and trying to get back to Vegas. He had a big gold chain and a gold ring which he took off and tried to give to me so I would give him enough gas to get to Vegas. I certainly am an empathetic person, but I am also a skeptical person and didn't believe him. I also had lots of miles to go in a lot of heat that day and had to get going...now. So I pumped $20 of gas into his car after swiping my card...put the pump back on the handle and went on my hot way. Before I left I told Fariq, or Muhammed, or whatever his name was, that he better call his relatives for money because $20 of gas will get him stranded out there away from help and he would be putting his baby's life in danger.
In Illinois, I gave a lady a $20 for gas at a rest stop as I was just getting back on my bike...because she was "out of cash and stranded". Certainly didn't believe her, but just in case..gave her enough to get on her way.
Louanne was not happy about me giving away $40 after hearing these anecdotes. I gave that $$ away on the 5% chance that what they were telling had some semblance of truth to it.
At the beginning of this trip I talked about how this trip was about completing some circles and beginning new ones. I just was surprised at the end of this trip what circles I was closing and what ones I was opening up.
I need to ride with these friends because of a trip that I never got to go on...and because I wanted Marty back on a bike and ride with my buddy again. Lumberg and I have lost two riding buddies in the past year, and I wanted to go on this trip to be with Marty when he spread some of Jason's ashes in Colorado. I had to - I needed to go on this trip. Then surprise, Duane was going to join us on this trip. Then Duane died and my world hit a breaking point. Work stress was off the charts and two of my treasured friends died. I was barely functional at that point and I told Louanne I didn't know if I would make it and live to retirement. She said, if you need to retire early, retire early. That gave me a window of hope that I could survive. I focused on trying to help Maralee. Sometime after Duane died, I invited Lumberg to go on the trip in Duane's stead to make it a group of 4 bikes on this ride. Lumberg surprisingly said yes. Lumberg was not able to stay for the whole trip...in fact he ended up just riding on Saturday and Sunday. I'm not sure if this was his plan all along, because he is kind of secretive, but he made a special mission of ferrying me out to Weatherford, OK, then returning to Atlanta the next day.
I thought I was completing circles of unfinished business as described above and opening up new circles of adventure with motorcycle friends. I was doing some of that. But due to my newfound condition, I think that I am also completing circles of riding with my FJR friends. Louanne googled the condition of this during riding...and I guess it is a thing. Unless something changes I have taken my last FJR group ride, as I will not ride with others, nor solo if this is the way it is to be. I ride motorcycles in part to feel younger, to feel alive...not to be soaked in end of life physical issues. I will ride a daylong solo ride in about a month or so to see if anything has changed, and if it hasn't, that will be it for me.
If this is the way it ends, it is humiliating...but I will remember the last 20 FJR years with joy. I know I have friends that have and will continue to stand by me.
If this is the way it ends, then it will be me in a car, with Louanne on trips. If she can put up with me.
...
and that is not a bad thing at all.
